I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
worst night to have a conscience
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
