My first STD was from a foam party
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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