ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
