You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
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