ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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