also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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