im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
