we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
