Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Send help, water and tortillas.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
