Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
