but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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