I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
