I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Randomize
