Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
