he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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