mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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