you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You've changed since you got that strap on
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
