What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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