Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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