after a month anything with tits is on the radar
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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