eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize