all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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