any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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