wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
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Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
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We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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