That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
