Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
