My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize