You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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