i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
