Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize