so that wasnt chicken after all
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
