When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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