whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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