i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
