DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize