i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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