Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
What drink are we having for lunch?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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