Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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