when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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