I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
