Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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