wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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