I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
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Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
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I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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