just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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