I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
