I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
