i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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