I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
