In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
