Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..

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(845): View more from New York

For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.

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(210): View more from Texas

I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.

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(951): View more from California

Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.

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(510): View more from California

This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?

(925): View more from California

Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.

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(785): View more from Kansas

I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.

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