we're blogging at a bar
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
