After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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