so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
