i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
