but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
