Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
