What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize