Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
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