Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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