I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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