Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??

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  (512): my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college?? http://tfl.nu/kvis
  Replies (62) Good night (3882) Bad night (561)
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  (415): View more from California

  From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.

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  (415): From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle. http://tfl.nu/bjh3
  Replies (5) Good night (1070) Bad night (3036)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.

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  (419): It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America. http://tfl.nu/twjg
  Replies (30) Good night (2473) Bad night (1460)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.

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  (732): I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning. http://tfl.nu/m9jy
  Replies (13) Good night (5134) Bad night (796)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I don't remember what your face looks like..

  (727): View more from Florida

  I don't remember your face either, just your dick.

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  (248): I don't remember what your face looks like.. (727): I don't remember your face either, just your dick. http://tfl.nu/odit
  Replies (19) Good night (6412) Bad night (998)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier

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  (410): we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier http://tfl.nu/xjeu
  Replies (6) Good night (8079) Bad night (1061)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"

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  (956): while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it" http://tfl.nu/f0so
  Replies (7) Good night (2927) Bad night (1502)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday

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  (601): Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday http://tfl.nu/2xqb
  Replies (5) Good night (582) Bad night (1366)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  So Monday we're lesbians.

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.

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  (717): So Monday we're lesbians. (1-717): Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball. http://tfl.nu/1nin
  Replies (6) Good night (1371) Bad night (526)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced

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  (509): He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced http://tfl.nu/0gfy
  Replies (7) Good night (1608) Bad night (619)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!

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  (330): He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me! http://tfl.nu/soou
  Replies (7) Good night (385) Bad night (997)
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  (925): View more from California

  After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...

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  (925): After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough... http://tfl.nu/vkxi
  Replies (1) Good night (734) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles

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  (303): Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles http://tfl.nu/b1h9
  Replies (0) Good night (691) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Hey, I'm your guy

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  (613): I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this. (647): Hey, I'm your guy http://tfl.nu/p6u8
  Replies (2) Good night (1114) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Fly high, Fly.

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  (404): Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke (678): Fly high, Fly. http://tfl.nu/tym4
  Replies (0) Good night (755) Bad night (370)

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